Keamy's Paradise

No gelato for you!

2009-02-14T18:33:00.003-05:00

No gelato for you!, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Created by Wolfie

i-can-has-cheezburger

2009-02-14T18:33:00.001-05:00

i-can-has-cheezburger, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Created by Wolfie

Faraway with Faraday

2009-02-07T18:57:00.001-05:00

Come Check out Lost's newest blog: Faraday's Paradise

Where you can join in with Daniel Faraday on some crazy adventures. Enjoy Keamy fans!

This American Life

2009-01-28T22:04:00.001-05:00

This American Life, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy hosts the showtime version of this beloved weekly radio program, each show centering on one theme.

split personality

2009-01-25T19:37:00.001-05:00

split personality , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Kevin Durand as Martin Keamy as Kevin Durand as the Blob

good keam hunting

2009-01-25T19:36:00.003-05:00

good keam hunting, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

best buddies

2009-01-25T19:36:00.001-05:00

best buddies, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Keamy and his BFF do a fist pump as their most awesome day ever ends with crusin' through nyc in a limo! All right! Awesome

President Linkeam

2009-01-25T19:35:00.003-05:00

President Linkeam, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Keamwii

2009-01-25T19:35:00.001-05:00

Keamwii, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Looks like someone is taking wii tennis just a little too seriously...

Wack-A-Keamy

2009-01-24T01:32:00.002-05:00

Every child's favorite carnival game is adapted (Keam-style) for the paradise. Music by Tugboat

I know why the caged Keam sings

2009-01-23T19:08:00.003-05:00

I know why the caged Keam sings, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Inkeambus

2009-01-23T19:08:00.001-05:00

Inkeambus, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Welccome Back Keamy!

2009-01-23T19:03:00.001-05:00

Welccome Back Keamy!, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

KIT lost

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

2009-01-21T01:51:00.001-05:00

Qu'est-ce que c'est?, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy records a record of heartfelt songs expressing the pain and heartbreak he felt during his time in Uganda.

Iron Killer

2009-01-19T15:47:00.001-05:00

Iron Killer, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Whose keamsine will reign supreme?

steamy keamy

2009-01-19T15:44:00.001-05:00

steamy keamy, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Our bloodthirsty killer practices for the upcoming "annual freighter talent show" during his shower.

keamtina's world

2009-01-19T15:42:00.001-05:00

keamtina's world, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Today, Keamtina's World remains one of the most well known and loved American paintings.

keamime

2009-01-18T22:11:00.001-05:00

keamime, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

As Martin Keamy pretends to be trapped in a box, viewers can't help but wonder if Keamy is trapped in the same magic box that Ben always teases Locke about.

The Murderous Case of Martin Keamy

2009-01-18T01:24:00.001-05:00

The Murderous Case of Martin Keamy, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Tells the story of Martin Keamy, a murderer who starts aging backwards with bizarre consequences

The weight of the world

2009-01-08T00:43:00.003-05:00

The weight of the world, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

A killer takes control.

The future is lonely

2009-01-08T00:43:00.001-05:00

The future is lonely, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Keamy gazes into his crystal ball to see if he will be in any scenes in the upcoming season of LOST

Grigori Yefimartich Keamputin

2009-01-08T00:42:00.001-05:00

Grigori Yefimartich Keamputin, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy cleverly disguises himself as a Russian mystic in an attempt to gain control and influence over the Tsar

The tiger or the Keamy

2009-01-07T23:59:00.001-05:00

The tiger or the Keamy, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2009-01-01T00:11:00.003-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy cries when a bunch of people blow horns at a new years celebration. The big baby.

Target Practice

2009-01-01T00:11:00.001-05:00

Target Practice, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy and Spencer Pratt enjoy an afternoon of staged shooting for a new MTV show promo. Drama!!!!

Created by Elsa S

Keamy's New Profile Pic

2009-01-01T00:10:00.001-05:00

Keamy's New Profile Pic, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Don't even ask him how long it took him to get his hair like that...don't even ask

Created by Elsa S

2008-11-08T20:18:00.001-05:00

"Just do it, again"

2008-10-13T00:31:00.001-04:00

"Just do it, again" , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy slam dunks a basketball during an important championship game. After the game, he went on to secure several lucrative sponsorships. Go get em tiger!

Vice Presidental Debate

2008-10-09T23:14:00.002-04:00

Vice Presidental Debate, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

The highly anticipated VP debate shocked viewers when the two candidates took a murderous turn for the worse. In the end however there was no clear winner as Sen Martin Keamy talked in third person and Gov. Martin Keamy did better than anticipated.

The students always take advantage of the subs

2008-10-09T23:07:00.001-04:00

The students always take advantage of the subs, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

"goin' for the gold"

2008-10-01T00:20:00.001-04:00

"goin' for the gold", originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy brags to his buddy about winning a bunch of medals in some competition held during summer vacation

Autumn arrives at last

2008-09-29T23:45:00.001-04:00

Autumn arrives at last, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

As Summer fades to Autumn the gentle leaves of the mighty Keamy tree begin to change their hue. Such a celebration of nature has long attracted visitors to the region- many returning annually.

wall street

2008-09-29T23:33:00.001-04:00

wall street, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

As the world looked to Martin Keamy to contain the economic crisis, Keamy's political leadership faltered.

Summer Vacation

2008-07-27T01:17:00.002-04:00

Sorry dear ones,

We're on summer break for a few more days.
Please use this time to relax and de-stress. Life is hard, we know. But don't think for a minute Keamy's Paradise won't do what it takes to keep a lost fan's chin up during the off season. We'll be back soon with post cards and presents from our many travels...and SPOILER ALERT:::: we've got some new movies in the works.

So keep on keamin' on my friends!!!

XOXO

K's P

girlfriends

2008-07-22T14:10:00.001-04:00

Keamy always could make the ladies laugh, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Keamy appears on his friend Oprah's TV show to talk about some new exciting things going on in his life.

Winged Keamy of Samothrace

2008-07-20T21:04:00.001-04:00

Winged Keamy of Samothrace, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Much to the delight of art lovers everywhere, the head to the Louvre's cherished "Winged Victory of Samothrace" was finally unearthed and restored for young and old alike to appreciate and enjoy.

Keamy 4 Pres of the United States of America '08

2008-07-18T20:10:00.001-04:00

Lust For Death

2008-07-17T21:20:00.001-04:00

Lust For Death, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy proves to be a swaggering front man for an early punk outfit.

401(mk) plan

2008-07-17T16:48:00.001-04:00

401(mk) plan , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

After a particularly grueling mercenary mission, Martin Keamy took a short sabbatical and became a stock broker and financial analyst. He soon found life on Wall Street to be even more demeaning and cutthroat than his many dangerous missions.

Oops, Keam did it again

2008-07-17T00:56:00.001-04:00

Oops, Keam did it again, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy, unable to escape those dastardly paparazzi, has a nervous breakdown on camera for the world to see. Moments after this photo was taken, Perez Hilton drew a shoddily rendered penis near his mouth. Hilarity ensued.

Meeting of the Martins

2008-07-15T04:28:00.001-04:00

Meeting of the Martins , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy is paid handsomely to teach a fellow Martin a lesson he won't soon forget.

The Dangerous Mind of Martin Keamy

2008-07-14T21:53:00.001-04:00

The Mona Keamsa

2008-07-12T19:19:00.001-04:00

The Mona Keamsa , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

For centuries, historians have puzzled over just what is behind that enigmatic scream.

Love Is Lost

2008-07-11T16:15:00.002-04:00

Francoise Hardy falls in love with Martin Keamy and thinks of him as he completes mercenary missions all over the world. Will their love survive his difficult occupation? Watch to find out.

Statue of Killberty

2008-07-10T16:36:00.001-04:00

Statue of Killberty , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy's likeness is forever emblazoned on a giant statue that serves as a beacon of hope for all would-be mercenaries.

Ha! I Keam me!

2008-07-09T19:18:00.001-04:00

Ha! I Keam me!, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy wears a sneaky disguise while living in the garage of a typical American family for a few months to complete a mercenary mission.

Halloween Is Just Around the Corner

2008-07-08T02:13:00.001-04:00

Halloween Is Just Around the Corner , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Hey Kids!! Dress up and pretend to be your favorite heartless mercenary! Simply cut around the dotted lines! Gun and questionable morality not included.

Martin Keamy Is Hungry

2008-07-07T02:50:00.004-04:00

THE ULTIMATE MERCENARY IS A HUNGRY, HUNGRY MAN AND OFTEN INDULGES IN ALL THE CULINARY WORLD HAS TO OFFER!!

Original song "Keamy Hungry" by Jesse Novak.

Keamy the Barbarian

2008-07-06T12:06:00.001-04:00

Keamy the Barbarian, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

An ancestor of Martin Keamy's lived in a lawless land where he encountered skulking monsters, evil wizards, deadly traps, and Grace Jones.

Video II

2008-07-04T21:11:00.002-04:00

Join us in celebrating the birth of 50 new Keamys

Happy 4th of July!!!

2008-07-04T20:33:00.001-04:00

Happy 4th of July!!!, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Garfield learns his lesson the hard way after neglecting to invite his neighbor Martin to his 4th of July BBQ

Open Up And Say...Mahhh!

2008-07-03T04:27:00.001-04:00

Open Up And Say...Mahhh! , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

The brothers Keamy find solace in glam metal and experience the world of fame and excess.

Keam Tut

2008-07-03T01:53:00.001-04:00

Keam Tut, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Ancient Egyptians honor their favorite pharaoh(and mercenary) by placing his mummified remains in a gold and jewel-encrusted casket. Let's hope Anubis guided him well.

Takashi Murakeamy

2008-07-01T03:32:00.002-04:00

Takashi Murakeamy , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Takashi puts paint to canvas in order to depict two bickering best friends as they land inside of a surreal wonderland that could only have come from the mind of Murakeamy.

murder on the dance floor

2008-06-28T20:58:00.002-04:00

murder on the dance floor, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Keamy used his athletic prowess to take first place in many dance competitions through the years. However, tragedy struck his partner Nancy as they were training for the StarQuest competition in Virginia Beach, VA. Yet another career path closed off to our dear Martin Keamy. The fates, it seems, had chosen the mercenary lifestyle for him long before he chose it for himself.

The Keamy Bunch

2008-06-28T18:46:00.002-04:00

The Keamy Bunch, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Here's the story,
Of a lovely Keamy,
Who was bringing up three very angry girls.
All of them had jaws agape,
Like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.

Here's the story,
Of a man named Keamy,
Who was busy with three boys of his own.
They were four angry dudes,
Living together, but they were all alone-.

Till the one day when the Keamy met the Keamy,
and they knew they was much more than a hunch.
That this group,
Must somehow form a pissed off family.
That's the way we all became the Keamy Bunch,
The Keamy Bunch- the Keamy Bunch
That's the way- we became the Keamy Bunch.

Magical Mystery Gore

2008-06-28T18:38:00.001-04:00

Magical Mystery Gore , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy narrowly avoids capture after he assassinates John Lennon. He will have nightmares about this for years to come and will no longer be welcome at Keamy family reunions.

The Keam and I

2008-06-27T19:26:00.003-04:00

The Keam and I, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy usurps the kingdom of Siam in order to woo a lovely soprano-voiced governess.

The family that Keams together....

2008-06-27T04:42:00.001-04:00

The family that Keams together...., originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Brat Pitt and Angelina Jolie adopt and raise three adorable little Keamys as their own. Let's hope they keep Martanicus, Martina, and Marley out of trouble.

Luck Be a Keamy Tonight

2008-06-27T04:34:00.001-04:00

Luck Be a Keamy Tonight, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin risks his hard-earned mercenary bucks on a game of craps at the world famous Showboat Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Make sure to get some taffy to take home Marty!

A True Genius

2008-06-27T04:29:00.001-04:00

A True Genius, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy receives a fellowship at Princeton to complete work on his unified theory of killing dudes which eventually won him the Nobel prize in utter mercenary-ness.

It's all about the Martins, baby.

2008-06-27T04:16:00.001-04:00

It's all about the Martins, baby., originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Though it was not until after Keamy began to put on some extra pounds, and after his once magnificent mane started to thin out, he finally took the place he deserved on a piece of true American currency.

"We'll always have Paris"

2008-06-26T03:12:00.001-04:00

"We'll always have Paris", originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Once Martin Keamy had a true love. She helped dull the edge off his murderous lifestyle. For a while, his nightmares even stopped. He felt, for the very first time, the light at the end of that long and dark tunnel. Passion is a fickle mistress, however. It wasn't long before his occupation reared it's ugly head and he was forced to abandon his beloved before his many enemies made her a target. Martin was soon back to his nightly routine of stalking prey and websurfing in the fetal position. He never saw her again but he sometimes checks her Myspace. She seems happy.

Oink Oink Says The Keam

2008-06-26T02:33:00.001-04:00

Oink Oink Says The Keam , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy finds himself adopting the guise of a popular pig in order to track down a hit in the big city.

Farewell, old friend.

2008-06-25T23:08:00.001-04:00

Farewell, old friend. , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy hides out in cemetery after his third faked death and watches an old friend place flowers on his grave. Are those tears I see Martin? Don't feel ashamed by crying tender dove.

Keamy's Kisses

2008-06-25T08:06:00.003-04:00

Help! It's Halloween and Martin Keamy finds himself all alone dressed as a variety of beautiful creatures! He spent a lot of mercenary money on those costumes so give the guy a kiss or two.

Keamy's Challenge

2008-06-25T07:45:00.004-04:00

Do you have what it takes to defeat the ultimate mercenary?

"Ahhh"

2008-06-25T00:25:00.002-04:00

"Ahhh", originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Keamy cools off on a hot day by diving gracefully into an olympic sized pool. Lookin' good Keamy!

Keamy is A-Maze-ing

2008-06-24T00:12:00.001-04:00

Keamy is A-Maze-ing , originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

Martin Keamy's likeness is used in a children's book that features simple and fun activities.

Ice Keam

2008-06-24T00:11:00.001-04:00

Ice Keam, originally uploaded by keamysparadise.

In about two years Martin Keamy will become so popular a well known chain of ice cream shops will adapt his image to spice up their classic conehead sundae

Mart Rushmore

2008-06-23T00:20:00.001-04:00

Mart Rushmore
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy's facade has been forever memorialized on the side of a huge f*cking mountain. That's awesome!!!

Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

2008-06-21T23:00:00.001-04:00

Do You Know Where Your Children Are?
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

As Martin Keamy stalks his prey under the cover of night, we are all reminded of the William Blake verse:

"And there the lion's ruddy eyes
Shall flow with tears of gold:
And pitying the tender cries,
And walking round the fold:
Saying: "Wrath by His meekness,
And, by His health, sickness,
Are driven away
From our immortal day."

The Way To A Keamy's Heart

2008-06-21T22:16:00.001-04:00

The Way To A Keamy's Heart
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy suffers to force one last cannoli down towards the end of a competitive eating contest. You can do it Marty!

First Ride

2008-06-21T21:15:00.001-04:00

First Ride
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Surprisingly, the Keamy clan maintained a happy household. "Family first" was their motto and they worked hard to provide a good moral foundation for their children. Little did they know...that there, sleeping under their roof, playing and acting like a normal boy...they were raising the ultimate killer.

Gone Fishin'

2008-06-21T21:11:00.001-04:00

Gone Fishin'
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy congratulates himself after he rigs a device to drop 40 million volts of electricity into a lake in order to catch a single fish.

Summer Break

2008-06-20T19:36:00.001-04:00

Summer Break
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy always took his summer job as a lifeguard at the community pool a little too seriously...

Masters of the Keamyverse

2008-06-20T18:02:00.001-04:00

Masters of the Keamyverse
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy, in the form of an evil skeletal emperor, becomes angry when someone gives him one of those gag gifts that is a box within a box until there is no real present at all. Can you blame him?

Number One Grad

2008-06-19T19:27:00.001-04:00

Number One Grad
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy plays a hilarious prank on his buds by bringing a sniper rifle to their high school graduation.

Spring Keaming

2008-06-19T18:59:00.001-04:00

Spring Keaming
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy, fed up with his messy roommates, decides to clean up the apartment so he can feel alright with writing passive aggressive notes.

Oedipus the Keam

2008-06-19T16:56:00.001-04:00

Oedipus the Keam
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

An ancient and dusty text describes a member of the Keamy lineage ignoring the words of an oracle and going on to marry his mother and kill his father. These seeds of fatalism still exist in the bloodline today.

Ready For A Stroll

2008-06-19T15:15:00.001-04:00

Ready For A Stroll
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy is finally ready for a stroll down historic Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. His friends are waiting for him downstairs because he took so long to dress.

Stars and Stripes

2008-06-18T22:40:00.001-04:00

Stars and Stripes
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Wherever freedom is lacking in the world, this patriotic duo can be found.

Keamy Clan Prove Victorious

2008-06-18T21:52:00.001-04:00

Keamy Clan Prove Victorious
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Those clever Keamys congratulate one another after winning an average amount of money on "Family Feud."

Martin Keamy, Come On Down!

2008-06-18T20:47:00.001-04:00

Martin Keamy, Come On Down!
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin appears on "The Price Is Right" and becomes overjoyed when he secures a spot in the showcase showdown.

Burger-Keam

2008-06-18T04:47:00.001-04:00

Burger-Keam
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy, at one point, loved burgers so much that he thought of himself as a monarch of the those delicious pattys.

Keamy's World

2008-06-18T04:44:00.001-04:00

Keamy's World
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy and his best friend host a weekly cable access TV show in his mom's basement before landing a gig as a mercenary.

Woops, Butterfingers!

2008-06-17T01:02:00.001-04:00

Woops, Butterfingers!
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Before finding his true calling as a deadly mercenary, Martin Keamy went through a string of troublesome dead end jobs.

Keamys Space

2008-06-16T23:53:00.002-04:00

We now have a Myspace! Click on the link to friend us so we can have a laugh trading Martin Keamy memories back and forth. Remember when he killed Alex? Whatta hoot!

Smells Like Keam Spirit

2008-06-16T03:16:00.001-04:00

Smells Like Keam Spirit
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Even as a baby, Martin Keamy was forced to do horrible things in the pursuit of money.

Killer vs Killer

2008-06-15T23:51:00.002-04:00

Killer vs Killer
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy takes on Adolph Hitler. I think we all know who won this battle.

Killer vs Killer

2008-06-15T22:29:00.002-04:00

Killer vs Killer
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy vs a nasty tornado - I think we all know who won this battle.

The Big Keamhuna

2008-06-15T22:19:00.001-04:00

The Big Keamhuna
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy hops on a surfboard while in pursuit of his latest kill.

Killer vs Killer

2008-06-15T05:44:00.001-04:00

Killer vs Killer
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy vs Giant Squid- I think we all know who won this battle.

"Awww mom!"

2008-06-15T05:43:00.003-04:00

"Awww mom!"
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

A young Martin Keamy reluctantly poses for his mom who wanted to capture his first day of school. The picture was forwarded to his grandparents and aunts shortly after.

Keamy Celebrates.

2008-06-15T05:43:00.001-04:00

Keamy Celebrates
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Martin Keamy's image brightens the sky during a fireworks celebration. Very romantic.

Martin Keamy self portrait with bandaged ear

2008-06-15T05:41:00.001-04:00

Martin Keamy self portrait with bandaged ear
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Martin Keamy.

Keamy's Kitty

2008-06-15T05:39:00.001-04:00

Keamy's Kitty
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

After his retirement from the dog show circuit Keamy turned coach to win an award for his prized pure breed kitty. He holds his ribbon with pride. This is the first win for the Keamy-Kitty duo and many more victories are anticipated.

Village of the Damned

2008-06-14T20:56:00.001-04:00

Village of the Damned
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

In a small English village, angry, gaping mouthed Keamys of uncertain paternity prove to have frightening powers

Best in Show

2008-06-14T07:51:00.001-04:00

Best in Show
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

Keamy's furry little face earns him top prize at the 2005 dog show. woof!

Keamy Busters

2008-06-14T04:27:00.001-04:00

keamy busters
Originally uploaded by keamysparadise

The Ghostbusters take care to not cross streams as they deal with a gelatinous Martin Keamy.