Garfield learns his lesson the hard way after neglecting to invite his neighbor Martin to his 4th of July BBQ
Showing posts with label Martin Keamy: A Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Martin Keamy: A Life. Show all posts
04 July, 2008
28 June, 2008
murder on the dance floor
Keamy used his athletic prowess to take first place in many dance competitions through the years. However, tragedy struck his partner Nancy as they were training for the StarQuest competition in Virginia Beach, VA. Yet another career path closed off to our dear Martin Keamy. The fates, it seems, had chosen the mercenary lifestyle for him long before he chose it for himself.
27 June, 2008
A True Genius
Martin Keamy receives a fellowship at Princeton to complete work on his unified theory of killing dudes which eventually won him the Nobel prize in utter mercenary-ness.
It's all about the Martins, baby.
Though it was not until after Keamy began to put on some extra pounds, and after his once magnificent mane started to thin out, he finally took the place he deserved on a piece of true American currency.
26 June, 2008
"We'll always have Paris"
Once Martin Keamy had a true love. She helped dull the edge off his murderous lifestyle. For a while, his nightmares even stopped. He felt, for the very first time, the light at the end of that long and dark tunnel. Passion is a fickle mistress, however. It wasn't long before his occupation reared it's ugly head and he was forced to abandon his beloved before his many enemies made her a target. Martin was soon back to his nightly routine of stalking prey and websurfing in the fetal position. He never saw her again but he sometimes checks her Myspace. She seems happy.
25 June, 2008
Farewell, old friend.
Martin Keamy hides out in cemetery after his third faked death and watches an old friend place flowers on his grave. Are those tears I see Martin? Don't feel ashamed by crying tender dove.
"Ahhh"
Keamy cools off on a hot day by diving gracefully into an olympic sized pool. Lookin' good Keamy!
21 June, 2008
Do You Know Where Your Children Are?
As Martin Keamy stalks his prey under the cover of night, we are all reminded of the William Blake verse:
"And there the lion's ruddy eyes
Shall flow with tears of gold:
And pitying the tender cries,
And walking round the fold:
Saying: "Wrath by His meekness,
And, by His health, sickness,
Are driven away
From our immortal day."
"And there the lion's ruddy eyes
Shall flow with tears of gold:
And pitying the tender cries,
And walking round the fold:
Saying: "Wrath by His meekness,
And, by His health, sickness,
Are driven away
From our immortal day."
The Way To A Keamy's Heart
Martin Keamy suffers to force one last cannoli down towards the end of a competitive eating contest. You can do it Marty!
First Ride
Surprisingly, the Keamy clan maintained a happy household. "Family first" was their motto and they worked hard to provide a good moral foundation for their children. Little did they know...that there, sleeping under their roof, playing and acting like a normal boy...they were raising the ultimate killer.
Gone Fishin'
Martin Keamy congratulates himself after he rigs a device to drop 40 million volts of electricity into a lake in order to catch a single fish.
20 June, 2008
Summer Break
Martin Keamy always took his summer job as a lifeguard at the community pool a little too seriously...
19 June, 2008
Number One Grad
Martin Keamy plays a hilarious prank on his buds by bringing a sniper rifle to their high school graduation.
Spring Keaming
Martin Keamy, fed up with his messy roommates, decides to clean up the apartment so he can feel alright with writing passive aggressive notes.
Ready For A Stroll
Martin Keamy is finally ready for a stroll down historic Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. His friends are waiting for him downstairs because he took so long to dress.
18 June, 2008
17 June, 2008
Woops, Butterfingers!
Before finding his true calling as a deadly mercenary, Martin Keamy went through a string of troublesome dead end jobs.
15 June, 2008
"Awww mom!"
A young Martin Keamy reluctantly poses for his mom who wanted to capture his first day of school. The picture was forwarded to his grandparents and aunts shortly after.
Keamy Celebrates.
Martin Keamy's image brightens the sky during a fireworks celebration. Very romantic.
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